Moods are contagious. If you’re around a bunch of sad and depressed people, you’ll start to feel down. If on the other hand you are in a group of happy people, you can’t help but start to smile. It makes sense then to surround yourself with happy people if you want your own level of happiness to increase.
This is why my biggest rule in the Wife Behind the Fire group is to balance a negative post with a positive. If there are multiple negative posts every time someone logs into the group, they will stop checking in OR they will add more negative posts themselves. It breeds quickly.
Does this mean that you should shut all people who aren’t super happy out of your life? Not at all. We all have important people in our lives whom we love and cherish even if they don’t have the sunniest outlook on life. Plus, we all have happier, and sadder seasons in our lives. It would be horrible if we avoided loved ones during tough times.
Instead, what I suggest is that you take note of who the happy people in your life are. Who are your cheerleaders that will cheer you on no matter what and who will put a smile on your face anytime you spend time with them? Take note of those positive people, be their friends, family, or even just acquaintances. Build a support system of happy people that you can turn to when you’re feeling down.
Along the same lines, you want to be careful about the negative and sad people around you and how they affect your own mood. When you’re having a hard time and are struggling with your own happiness levels, it may be better to avoid people that you know will bring you further down. Those are the times when you want to spend with your team of cheerleaders, or your happiness support system. Again, this doesn’t mean that you need to completely shut people out of your life, just take note of their energy and how they affect you and spend time with them accordingly.
When you are happy, don’t be afraid to share that happiness and spread it around. Smiling, laughing, and feeling good about life is contagious. Spread the joy and soak it up from happy people around you when you’re not feeling your personal best. Call up that friend that can instantly make you feel better, and talk to people around you who love and care for you about this idea of contagious happiness. Let them know when you could use some cheering up and then return the favor. Because, let’s face it, we all have times when we’re happier and in a much better mood than other days. Make it a habit to build each other up and create that happiness support system. It will make a huge difference in your life and those around you.
Homework: make a list of those around you. See if there are toxic people that you may need to limit your time around. Figure out which people are your cheerleaders and will be your go to for those tough times. Depending on the toxicity of the relationship, consider severely limiting your time with others or cutting them out completely.
Working on our happiness together,
PS – this one can be really difficult. If you need more help and other wives going through the same, check out the FireWife Club.