When you sign up for the newsletter, I include a spot where you can ask a question. It's not required but I know many women find the site because they are looking for a specific answer to something.
I love open my email to see someone has asked a question.
Sometimes a quick reply is the only answer. Then I just give them a quick, personal response. Other times I can use it for a blog post. Please be assured that if I use a question for a blog post, I word it so it's not traceable and names will NEVER be used. I value everyone's privacy.
Now back to the topic at hand. I had a wife ask about going to watch her firefighter training.
Question I received:
My husband often will ask if I want to come watch when they practice in the burn building or other similar situations. His work world is already part of our world, friends, co-workers, which I enjoy because lets be real, he is often spending just as much time at station as at home. Is this common, I feel unsure about this, I know what my husband does, and I have tried to explain to him that knowing & watching is two different things. I am pregnant with our 3rd, so that also I think has my emotions a little out of whack. Want to support & share in his joy with the practice, but just not sure. Thoughts?
I'm a firm believer in not causing yourself undue stress. Especially if you are pregnant!
For now the easy answer is that you are too emotional to handle actually seeing it. That will bide you some time there right? lol
Honestly, if you are not a fan of watching the training and you think it will cause you mental distress, you should just stand your ground and explain that to him. If he seems insistent then ask him why it's such a big deal to him. If this is something he wants, then it's going to be up to him to deal with you not wanting to go. It's not up to you to change your mind about going.
For readers, I've emailed with her a bit and they already have a seemingly good communication going on. As you see above she is part of the fire life and they have friends in the department. Otherwise, these would be some of the first suggestions I would have as the insistence that she go makes it sound like he just wants her more involved in the firelife.
I personally would love to go watch drill and have never been invited. I think it would be cool to go at least once. Unsure if it would give me a bad vibe or not until I actually did it. But I don't think it would bother me.
Some women say that watching the training helps them feel even more secure. Gives them a visual and less fear of the unknown. That's going to depend on your personality though.
Everyone isn't the same and I don't suggest doing things that you know will make you uncomfortable. If you allow yourself to be talked into something you don't want to do, it might just add anger to the mix of emotions. Not a good combo.
Have any of you ladies gone to firefighter training/drill? Did it help set your mind at ease or add fears you didn't have prior to going?
I have been to a few.I actually went to training last night. They had set up a vehicle fire. To me it is awesome to see him in action. And it’s a more relaxed setting because it is controlled. I think if it was a true emergency I would be a nervous wreck.
Thanks for commenting Audrey. I agree that training and an emergency would be different.
I have go to extrication training because I wanted to see what they all did and I thought it was cool. However, I would never go to a live burn drill. I know my limits and my fear of fire is real and can borderline irrational (I was burned in a fire as a kid). We both know this. He would never push it.
Do what is in your comfort zone. Often we are proud of their careers, but doesn’t mean we actually want to see what they do.
True, the training for that day might make a difference as well on whether others want to go.
Holly R says
I have been to many of their trainings….I think it helps me to feel more relaxed when he is out on calls, because I have seen that he knows how to approach different situations and being that he is our training officer, I hear what knowledge he has to share. My favorite trainings were when they pulled together with the other local departments and did a mock bus accident, where they had a simulated school bus accident (the bus has previously been rolled off of a trailer) and the water shuttle training, it was crazy to see how much water they can move to an area that has no hydrants!!!
I really wanted to go to the multi-district shooter training. I’m sure it was hours of boring, but I still wanted to go watch them coordinate with swat and other police dept’s.
Holly R says
That would be awesome too…I will definitely attend that if and when they do that one.
I have also been to trainings where they have practiced with the newer/younger guys they practiced their radio communications and locations in the buildings….I also love to watch them blindfolded and packed up then search out a room for each other, as if they have a situation that they are going in to save a victim or one of their own and bring them out.
I would love to go, but it’s never been an option with his department. However, the whole family was invited to the live burn at the end of his FF 1 cert class. I wasn’t nervous, but I was a little concerned when I watched him fall off the ladder from the second story window. He was ok and kept on going.
Now, my dad was a FF in the Army, and I remember lots of Family Days, where the families would come out and watch training. My most vivid training memory was when they set a school bus on fire, then my dad and the other FFs repelled out of helicopters and put it out. Then we roasted hot dogs and had fun taking pics of us in the helos.
You wouldn’t be able to live with my FF for months if he got to repel from a helicopter. He would be full of obnoxious smiles lol
Funny this is brought up. Just 2 weeks ago my husband asked me to come to a training burn. I had to work, I had our 2 yr old, and it was 90 degrees……negative ghostwriter. And most if not all trainings are private and no one is allowed to come to. But training burns turn into more of a show for the community, and some people even bring their older children. My hubby was chief burn officer, so basically he had to set the house on fire all day, but couldn’t let it get burnt down or too hot. So he was pretty proud of himself. I was sorta bummed I didn’t swing by for the action. However……I did go to the store for Excedrin, kept the house chilly, and after nap time made a bomb.com dinner. I suppose next time I stop and check out the sessy firemen doing what they do best
We’ve had a few training burns…I typically find out about them on fb and ask why he didn’t go. Response is not mine to share lolol
Not likely. Maybe if he asked, but only because I’ve never seen him aside from eating dinner at the station, or driving the truck out on a call. Honestly, it’s none of my business and I’m just not interested. I trust his training, same as he trusts mine. I don’t need to see it to be reassured. I work at a nuclear facility, and he has zero interest in watching me at or attending any of my training. If I did go watch (which I don’t think his department allows civilians to attend), I wouldn’t be nervous or anxious, but that’s just who I am.
I’d much rather do a ride along.
I once thought a ride along would be fun…but there’s just too much downtime. I’d rather have the time to myself at home than sit and talk to all of those guys for 24 hours rofl
Mrs. C says
Mine is wildland. Prescribed burns are the only real training available and YES! I go. I participate, but I do it because it interests me, not because I need the reassurance that he knows what he’s doing. Can it be stressful? Absolutely. We’ve had escapes, fire whirls, it’s gotten REALLY HOT. But that’s part of the excitement. I think it would be incredibly boring to watch and not participate. So I personally wouldn’t go just to watch.
Ester Chavez says
I wouldn’t and haven’t gone. I like to keep his work at work. I don’t want to go and be a distraction to him or anyone else. They are there to learn, practice, make mistakes and figure out what works and what doesnt’t. Now if they had a community demonstraton or “show and tell” I’d go. But when it comes to actual training that their lives might one day depend on….no thank you.
I want to go, but won’t. I would love to see it all play out and how they train, but I feel like that is his space. I think I’d feel like I was invading…
Yes, I would only go if I was invited. I agree about the whole space thing. He has only ever bothered me at work when I’ve invited him to lol
Jennifer McGee says
I’ve never went to training with Dwane and wouldn’t want to depends on what they do I guess lol I feel that I would get bored quick watching but if its at the station I could always go up and watch TV. I’ve only see them do a vehicle rescue once but that was because it was done at our open house last year so other than that I haven’t seen anything. Half the time their trainings are either at the training center or with other stations somewhere. They very seldom do trainings at their own station.. Training isn’t mandatory so he hasn’t been there in awhile due to moving recently.
Lori D says
No for me – most of the department training is held on shift. Training burns are done sometimes with numerous other departments. The weekend training burns I am sure there are people watching but I for one have not attended nor has FF asked me to. It could be that it is a large city with other larger cities participating but not sure I have heard any of our wives say they attended. I do know that wives do not watch daily at station training.
Same for our dept, Lori. Training burns are done on shift with other depts… which is usually during my work day. So rats… cant go. 🙂
When my FF was a Volunteer I was at EVERY training with him and the crew. I am one of those that wants to be just as educated in case we drive up on a scene together (Which in fact we did and I shortly after became a first responder myself)
Since he has been on a paid dept (6+ yrs) most of his training is on shift, therefore it isn’t as easy for me to be there. My responder licence has since slipped, however now that he is an instructor in so many areas, I am his guinea pig student (when I am allowed to be)
As far as burn training…..I think that may have helped my insomnia in the beginning of our fire life, it’s def something I want our sons to see!
I personally do not go to his trainings. Instead I deal with their training via the radio. He is a LT with his department and is generally pretty good about saving one of the three days of any training for the unit days for me to work on night shift. We have team taught some trainings but they were nothing like live burns or extrication. That is something not common in this area. If it were offered, I probably wouldn’t go, not because I am afraid, just because I feel the need to keep some distance with him and his job and would be afraid of the “I lift things up and put them down” syndrome that may come with him trying to show off (ok, maybe not him, because he is a “good boy” but the others on his unit day).
I think it would be boring to watch and not participate. So I personally wouldn’t go just to watch.