Not only is being part of the fire life not for the faint of heart, it also isn’t for the insecure.
Being insecure has NO place in the firelife.
If every time your partner runs a call, you are worried that someone will steal them away, you need to get yourself straight. Get therapy, get meds, get a hobby. Whatever it takes.
It drives me absolutely insane to see firewives or partners who constantly fret that their firefighter is hooking up with someone while doing their (paid or unpaid) job. This isn’t Warner Brothers, this is real life. Turn off all those ridiculous “fire service” dramas on the television.
If your partner is going to stray, they are going to stray, regardless of their profession. Plain and simple. If you don’t trust your partner, you guys have WAY more issues than his choice of profession. If you are jealous of his time at the station, that’s your issue to deal with.
Now, that’s not to say that you should tolerate him being gone all the time for no legitimate reason. That’s his fault and he’s not holding up his end of things. Don’t sit and fret constantly, woman up and call him on the carpet about it. At the end of the day, regardless of your occupation, his occupation, the amount of money you make or spend, if you have kids, pets, if you rent or own your home, the number one thing to fix issues in a relationship is COMMUNICATION.
Not communication as in “you totally freaking suck,” and not actually addressing the issues. Not communication as in “why don’t you know what is wrong?” and expecting your partner to read your mind. Not communication as in telling everyone but your partner what is wrong.
Communication as in sitting down and openly and honestly talking to your partner. Tell him that you are insecure about things. However, don’t expect him to “fix” you. He can’t fix you any more than you can fix him. You (general you) can’t control anyone’s actions except your own. You can, however, control how you react to other people’s actions. Now, if he is giving you a reason to think he is up to no good (a real reason, not imagined in your head), then again, DEAL WITH IT, WITH HIM.
Communication is key in all relationships. When you are in the fire life, that need for open, honest communication is amplified a hundred times over. Make it happen, dears. Being a firewife or partner is HARD. Use the support systems like Wife Behind the Fire. Don't make it harder on yourself by being self-defeating.
Christy T says
1 Million Thank You’s to you Missy!!! I couldn’t agree more!!! 🙂
Kristy Harvey says
PERFECT!!! Love this!!
THANK YOU MISSY!
Well said Missy…. Sometimes we all need this little reminder
Heather M says
This is great, except our department has an extensive history of inter-department relationships. There are currently 3 couples employed here that were married to others and hooked up at work. I can name off at least 5-6 other situations of known hook-ups. We only staff 2 people overnight. Not going to lie, it’s hard to not wonder sometimes…
And that speaks to the integrity of those that have been hired. As she said, if you are worried about a hook up happening, it’s going to happen no matter what job they have. The issue isn’t the job, it’s the marriage and the fact that one person in the marriage doesn’t respect their vows. It doesn’t matter how much a woman flaunts herself at a guy. If they respect their vows, they will take themselves out of the situation.
Heather M says
You are absolutely correct, Val!!!