NEW

Fitness and Choices

You have the perfect plan in place and the house is full of healthy foods. You are READY to rock this new fitness and weight loss. You get after it. Week one is hard, but you do it. Week two? The kids have practice every day this week. There are two basketball games....

It Can Be Hard To Set Smart Goals

Did you set a big goal this New Years? You were going to get it done in 2018. How many times in the past have you set a huge goal such as to lose 50 pounds or exercise 5 days a week, only to fall off the wagon a few weeks (or usually days) later? Why did you fail? A...

Mind Over Matter!

Mind over matter!  I find myself clinging to that mantra a lot as a FireWife.  Especially with the history my firefighter husband and I endured.  The past can never truly be buried deep enough.  It always seems to nudge it's way through my thoughts as I go about my...

Wait, you BOTH work shift work?

A little over 2 years ago, I got this crazy idea to apply for a different type of job than I had previously been working.  For years, I worked at the local community hospital as an ED nurse on an "as needed" basis.  As our children got a little older, I started...

Laundry Basket Fortress

It's a never ending cycle. Wash. Dry. Throw it in a basket. Maybe take it upstairs. If you're lucky you have a main floor laundry. Sometimes you have to scramble 2 minutes before needing to leave to find the matching sock for the three year old and oh wait..the baby...

wildland girlfriendI know I have been a slacker in sharing questions and answers. I think I have become too accustomed to answering quickly to so many. Today when I got this plea, it hit me that I needed to share it with others. So I am…with her permission even though I’m not calling her out.

I’m hoping some that are in the wildland life will come help with more suggestions. My suggestions are based on my experience in structure, as a momma of a wildland firefighter and what I’ve gleaned from others when similar questions have been asked in the group.

Now this woman has a lot of work ahead, so please remember that. I’m excited that she’s newly in a relationship and looking to reach out for help already. That’s a good sign. I’m pretty sure we can help her through this giant learning curve. Normally, I wouldn’t post this much information and especially from a girlfriend. BUT, the questions she came to me with are exactly what I hear from so many wives that have been together longer. So, it’s definitely something we need to address as even wives of some time haven’t learned to deal with what she’s asking.

Her fb message to me:

I am new to this whole Fire Girlfriend thing. He works for the US Forestry. We’ve seeing each other for a month, but really been toget

her for a week. It’s so hard. I understand his passion for his job and I totally support him. But, he’s been to fires here in California for a whole month. He doesn’t call all day. I don’t sleep waiting to hear his call or text message. But this is the longest I haven’t heard from him for 3 days now. I just want to cry. Please help. How can I survive this during Fire season? We just started seeing each, other how do you do it. Thanks for listening.

My response

wildland firefighters girlfriend

Thanks for contacting me. While on fires it’s very common not to hear from them. Some wives go many weeks. Cell batteries can’t be charged, they pass out tired after digging & hiking 12-14+ hours or there’s no cell service. Our daughter had to hitch a ride into town last year in order to get service on her downtime (she jumped into rigs deployed there) lol No service is most common.

Since you are newly together you need to quickly make lists of what you did before getting together. You need to occupy your time so you don’t make yourself crazy for no reason.

Also, search out wild kind of love on fb. Chantelle has a group for spouses and another group open to everyone loving a wff. I’m part of her other group because of our daughter.

As far as the fear goes. Don’t feed into the hype.

Before becoming a ff mine was in commercial construction. He almost died doing that so many times that I had to tell him not to tell me anymore. It was every few months and he worked in the big leagues for 15 years before being hired on as firefighter. FFing is way safer lol Plus he’s now doing what he loves. Previously, he could have died on a miserable job that made him angry. If something happens I at least know he was happy.

The what ifs will kill your relationship. So get girls nights planned, hobbies, decorating, side job even?

It’s a big adjustment and you came into it at go time. Easing in during off season might have helped you a little lol Or maybe throwing you right in so you have to adjust immediately will end up easier in the long run. It will all get easier from this time forward.

Wildland firefighter wives, what tips do you have for a new girlfriend?

Post By Val (212 Posts)

Sarcastically working through the craziness that is life as a FireWife! Hope you also join us on the social media accounts where we chat all night long!

Website: → Wife Behind the Fire

Connect