Choose Happy

Whining about all the crap that we have no control over ruins relationships and makes you miserable for so many reason. There are things in the FireLife we can't change, but we sure can take a different approach to how those things affect us.


How we choose to live this life is up to us. Instantly download the free Never Alone ebook now and get tips for being happier every day.

firewife never fights alone

I support FireWives truthfully.


No blowing smoke at you or using scare tactics to get you to conform to my way of thinking. We all have our own path to take based on our experiences.


I have decades of personal experience as a FireWife and gladly share things that have worked and not worked for myself. I've been listening and working with 1000's of FireWives online since 2008 and can share different ideas to try in similar situations.


I'm grateful for an amazing community where retired FireWives wish to stay and share their tips and experience with the next generations!

Check out the latest posts:

Nosy People

Time to get Fireside Chats back up and rolling. This week's question is about nosy people. Those ones that want to know everything going on about calls and if your firefighter went on it. Each week we have been getting

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firefighter king to my crown

Firefighter King To My Crown

I don't like poems, but this one speaks to me with every single word. I know for a FireWife site it might be coming off as odd to be posting about it. The things in the poem are an internal

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self-care tip #2 for firewives

But I Don’t Have Time For Self Care!?! Tip #2

Self-Care Tip #2 Declutter It is pretty straight forward, the less crap you own, the less you have to deal with. Inside the house are there cluttered areas that you are constantly having to work around or work on to

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happier you challenge

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff – Savor It

“Don’t sweat the small stuff” they say. And they – whoever “they” is, have a good point. It’s easy to get caught up in all the little things that stress us out and ruin our day. Days in the firelife

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happier you challenge

We Crave Human Connections

  Like it or not, we are social creatures who crave human connections. It is hardwired into our brains because we need to work together to ensure the survival of our species. It only makes sense then that forming and

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The Connection Between Doing Stuff And Happiness

  We are hard wired for taking action and getting stuff done. It only makes sense, doesn’t it? Our survival as a society depends on the actions of many different people. We each do our part and everything runs smoothly.

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Val Selby

Empowerment Coach

About Me

I've been the queen of pity parties and all they did was make me a miserable person. I was so focused on everyone else for years that I thought of self-care as being selfish. Generations of FireWives doing everything alone and not passing on what they've learned has made many bitter wives out there. Time for that to change.


It's time for those of us in the latter years of the service to share what we've learned and the younger generation to help us see how times are changing right this moment. Join me as we make great changes in how our spouses work and how we deal with it all.

I wish I had found you when I was a young firewife with a bunch of kids, running around like a crazy person because he was gone so often.?

Instead I found you later and rather than helping me navigate those early years you helped me come to terms with the last years of his career.

Dawn H.

dawn halter

I'm thankful for the workshops Val Selby puts on. She's really helped me think things through and make some real changes in my life. I'm calmer and happier and things are definitely looking up.

Laurie S.

laurie S profile

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