Val

Firewife Retreat and Conference Waitlist

November 27, 2018 by Val Leave a Comment

We’ve been talking about it and it’s time to get serious. I need to find out how many are truly interested and able to attend a retreats, so I can find the right size house to rent. Please, also sign up to the waitlist if you are interested in a firewife conference. I have to know there is interest before putting the big bucks into live events.

In true retreat style the events will be all about you. We will have a few power sessions based on the needs of those attending. The tentative plan is to have a local retreat on the Washington coast and also one in Vegas.

There will be plenty of time to chat with old friends and make new ones in a household setting. No hotels to go hide out in, we’re family 😉 Meals will be included. Swag bags. Movies and late night laughing with other firewives. Just to name a little of what is in my dream of retreats for us.

The Stepmom Coach Black Friday Deals

November 22, 2018 by Val Leave a Comment

A month ago I did a Facebook live with my friend Claudette – The Stepmom Coach to talk about her “Becoming A More Confident Stepmom” ecourse that was included in a bundle we were both participating in. I know many of you FireWives are stepmoms and could use the confidence course and every bit of resources you can find on the topic. I’ve embedded the video here for you to watch and get to know Claudette and her self-study program a bit.

For Black Friday she’s running a sale on everything and I want to make sure you don’t miss out. The sale runs from November 22nd-30th. When you check out use the coupon code: BLACKFRIDAY2018 for 50% off. I’m going to give you a little info on each of the programs.

I know it’s the holidays and we don’t generally think of buying ourselves things. But, consider how using one of her programs could improve your happiness in 2019. You could even ask your FF or a family member to purchase it for your Christmas present. Just send them the link to this page and they can choose what to get you.

Becoming A More Confident Stepmom

Imagine what your life would be like if you had no fear of failure as a stepmom…if you knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt that you could be happy within your stepfamily. Imagine what your life would be like with complete confidence at being a good stepmom.
If you want to bring an end to your struggles and start living a life of fulfillment and accomplishment…the life you were born to live…then this online self-study program is for you.

This is the course we discussed in the video above. Click for more info.

Managing Your Stress Within Your Stepfamily

Stepfamily dynamics are often stressful, and that stress can have a negative impact on our relationships with our spouse, our stepkids and our health. It’s important to find ways to eliminate as much stress as we can from our lives, in order to create a more fulfilling stepfamily.

Find out more info about this self-study course.

The Emotional Smart Stepmom

Understanding how emotions work gives you the advantage of knowing how to deal with people and their emotions, becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings and ways to manage your own emotions in all situations.

Click for more info.

The Road to Becoming An Empowering Stepparent

As a stepparent, you are impacting and influencing your stepkids, whether they live with you full time, part time or not at all. Whatever you do or say is being recorded by those around you.

The question is, are you having the impact you want to have, or are you getting less-than-desirable results?

Click for more info on how you can be more empowered as a stepparent.

Calming The Storms of Stepfamily Conflict

Conflict is part of our lives but it doesn’t have to ruin it. This program will help you as a stepparent to constructively and effectively deal with conflict in your stepfamily before it gets out of hand.

Having tools at your disposal will help you weather the storm more effectively and with far less hurt feelings. Grab the tools now.

Success On Your Terms

A new way to create success as you explore the definition of success, learn how to harness your internal & external strengths to achieve your goals, & turn your new discoveries into tangible results.

Click for more info.

If you take one of Claudette’s courses, I’d love to hear your feedback on how it’s improved communication around your house. Blended families are always difficult, but adding in the firelife and them being gone a lot puts a whole new spin on things.

Don’t forget, the sale is only until November 30th and use coupon code: BLACKFRIDAY2018 for your 50% off.

Happiness is a choice. Live with no regrets.

Fitness and Choices

September 10, 2018 by Val Leave a Comment

You have the perfect plan in place and the house is full of healthy foods. You are READY to rock this new fitness and weight loss. You get after it. Week one is hard, but you do it.

Week two? The kids have practice every day this week. There are two basketball games. Saturday is a tournament. There’s a giant project due at work. You are tired. Legit tired.

Missing out on Monday’s workout is ok. You have the whole rest of the week and will go tomorrow.

Tuesday you just can’t get up early and do it, you’ll do it in the evening after work. Crap, today was basketball night and the darn kid forgot to bring their uniform. You need to rush and drop it off and get dinner done and eaten so the rest of you can get to the school to watch.

Workout…not even a thought until bedtime and then the guilt hits because you didn’t do it and it’s two days now. Then you figure why bother you were never going to hit your goals anyways. Next Monday you’ll start again. Next week is MUCH less busy and it will be easy.

Any of this story sound familiar?

I bet it does. It’s super common for us to run through this over and over and over. Keeping this cycle of not working out and not putting our health as a priority is easy. We are legitimately busy and it’s hard to find the time.

But, that’s the thing. There is never going to be this magic free time for you to do it. You have to make the time and make it a priority.

That’s why mindset is so important when working on weight loss. It’s just about everything.

Every day you have to make the choice of what will be your priority for that day. Feed the twerps and make sure they get to school is obviously important. I guess if you have to go to work so you can buy the damn food, that could be important too.

But, after that you generally have choices about where you fit in. There are a lot of reasons why you should be making YOU the choice.

Your kids are watching you. Always watching you. When your health isn’t a priority, they grow up thinking it’s not important. They become adults that think it’s not important.
If you can’t make time to hit the gym for 30-60 minutes, how are you going to schedule in multiple doctor’s appointments, possible hospital visits and bed rest when you make yourself sick?

Is that last one dramatic? Nope, not even a single bit. Your choice is to take care of yourself now or sit in waiting rooms. It really is that important. As FireWives we know the calls our spouses go on and how many of them are preventable diseases. WE KNOW!

Is it always easy? No, but is it always important? Every day, all day.

Want to hear me yak at you about mindset & motivation? Join me on Wednesday for the webinar. If you can’t make it live, I will have a replay ready for you soon after. Just go sign up for more information. Fitness Mindset & Motivation Webinar

Happiness is a choice and so is your health. Live with no regrets,

It Can Be Hard To Set Smart Goals

September 6, 2018 by Val Leave a Comment

Did you set a big goal this New Years? You were going to get it done in 2018. How many times in the past have you set a huge goal such as to lose 50 pounds or exercise 5 days a week, only to fall off the wagon a few weeks (or usually days) later?

Why did you fail?

A big reason many fitness goals fail is because S.M.A.R.T. goals were not put in place.

The first letter “S” is for Specific. One of the first rules of goal-setting is to understand what you want to accomplish. A goal of “I want to lose 20 pounds.” is not specific as there isn’t a deadline in which you want to have lost those 20 pounds. That deadline could be 90 days down the road or 5 years, but without it defined, the ending date is unknown.

Some people intentionally leave out the deadline because of a fear of failing. In their mind as long as they lose 20 pounds, they are successful. But, if a date is not indicated, what motive is there to lose weight by a certain time?

A specific goal should answer most of the 6 “W” questions:
• Who
• What
• When
• Where
• Which
• Why

Who – If your goal is one as an individual, then this part is easy, it is you. However, if the goal pertains to a group, then it would list all members involved in the group.

What – This is your end goal – specifically what you want to accomplish. Be as detailed as necessary to get a clear picture of what it is you are trying to do. “I want to lose 20 pounds.” would be an example.

When – This should be a time goal of when you want to have accomplished your goal. It could be stated as a ending date or number of days. For example, “I want to lose 20 pounds by December 30th” or “I want to lose 20 pounds in 90 days.” Or it could even be a specific day such as “I want to lose 20 pounds by Christmas.” However, a specific date or day is better than a number of days because it is easier to keep track of.

Where – In the case of a personal goal, this might not apply. But in other cases, it could. It defines a specific location where the goal takes place. For example, I have a goal of going back and running the Rock-n-Roll half marathon in Vegas in 2019.

Which – This defines any foreseen obstacles which could get in the way of accomplishing your goal. In the case of a fitness goal, if getting to your goal involves weightlifting, but you are not trained in how to lift weight safely, you might want to include using the services of a personal trainer to learn weightlifting.

Or if you have never set up a fitness training program, hiring a personal trainer could get you on the right track right from the beginning. Or joining a challenge with instructions will be helpful, like the 6 Week Fitness Mission.

Why – This defines the reason you are establishing the goal in the first place. Why are you doing this? Be specific.

Make sure the reason is for you and not for someone else. In most cases when doing it for the wrong reason leads to failing to accomplish the goal because you did not have a vested interest in accomplishing it. The goal must have a direct benefit for you and be something you want to do.

Yes, I’m going to hit the rest of the S.M.A.R.T. goals and doing this works for any goal you want to achieve.

If you need help figuring out your plan and a place to be accountable, join us for the 6 Week Fitness Mission. I’d love to see you finish 2018 healthier and stronger.

Remember, happiness is a choice and so is your health. Live with no regrets,

PS – I’ve got a discount for you if you join before Monday, September 10th. Use coupon code fit25 to take 25% off.

Why can’t we have it all?

July 11, 2018 by Val Leave a Comment

Sometimes I’m angry.

There are times it’s really tough to head up a website and large group of women. Ok, truth, there are a lot of times it’s tough. That’s a lot of hormones lol

But, the toughest thing for me is listening to wives that think they should be second to the fire dept and really seem to believe it.

It’s hard to listen to wives that are trudging through each day and not enjoying it.

Do you know how long you have in this life? I sure don’t and I don’t intend to waste days upon days being miserable.

I don’t know who started this thought process that we need to bow down, roll over and be the doormat because our firefighters are doing hero things. That our needs don’t matter because it’s for the greater good.

W-T-F?!

NO, NOT OK.

My life nor my marriage are perfect and I will never pretend they are. But, one thing is for certain and always has been for certain. The fire dept doesn’t and never has come before me and the kids and the life we want to create together. We committed to each other and we also committed to these kids we brought into the world.

If you are feeling second to the dept, I challenge you to have a calm discussion about your feelings. Your firefighter needs to know this is how you feel. They can not read your mind. But, please make sure it’s during a calm time, not when you are angry. It has to be a time that you are both open to feedback and real discussion.

Consider your wording. Be careful of putting them on the defense and be very careful that your wording doesn’t sound like you are making them choose. Ultimatums can only be used once and then you have to follow through, they are rarely productive. They are destructive.

But, this email is about way more than that. This email is about you.

Why don’t you believe you can have it all?

Who told you that wasn’t possible?

At what point did you decide to put your happiness aside “for the greater good”?

What would make you happier? Do you even know?

What makes us happy changes through the seasons and the years. It’s something we need to look at periodically. I believe all of us can find our happy and that every one of us has a different idea of what will make us happy.

I believe this so much that I’ve kept my 30 days to a Happier YOU challenge free for everyone to take. It’s ready for you to dig into now. Most of the daily challenges are quick, just to get you thinking and moving forward.

I believe when we are happy, our entire house becomes a happier place. We’re able to deal with the crap the firelife throws at us better. We’re able to spread the happy.

But, you can’t be happy if you don’t know what will make you happy. Don’t know what your life goals are. Don’t know what in the world you want to do.

Been there and I have to check in and figure out what I want. Heck, just coming out the other side of going through this as we had multiple, huge life changes all at once. I was lost and barely knew what would make me happy.

So, dig into the challenge and find out how you can be happier in your life. I’m not asking you to leave everything and pull a Thelma & Louise, nope, just figure out how you can be happier in your little corner of the universe 🙂

Living no regrets,